School: Convert Hell to Heaven

All my life I’ve struggled with one topic more than with anything else. Going to school. And I bet I am not alone! So what I really want to know is if my hate, my pain, my loss of motivation and my loss of purpose are immutable? May I be able to change myself so crucial that I would start to love school? I only live once and this month, the February of 2010, I will try to change myself for the sake of science and personal development

I love school.

25 days of pretending based on “fake it till you make it”. I may be concerned that I won’t follow the path of my heart but I really feel inspired to try it. I know that 25 days are a lot of time and that I may be discouraged after one week or even one day. But I will try to force myself until it hurts to shift my focus from hate to love.

I want to setup a love school mindset and tell myself that I love school, only focusing on the positive aspects of it. And yes there are more than one I’ve found so far:

1. Breaks
2. Socializing
3. General knowledge
4. Future business contacts
5. After school projects and activites
6. Special access for school groups
7. A-level / university-entrance diploma
8. Lower responsibility (no taxes, no community service)
9. Observe social situations and learn rhetoric
10. I can do sport activities with friends for free

I think there are several more but this are my 10 major aspects I want to focus on. What I want to stop is to focus on the negative problems that occur with going to school at 8am. Instead I will change my mind-chatter into sentences like: I want to feel more relaxed and energized. I want to have fun learning new languages, mathematical theories, biological structures and historical facts. I want to feel a surge to engage myself for my reputation at school, having fun while being in class and entertain myself by learning.

Today this sounds really like an utopia. But I am very curious about the outcome and the consequences on my other interests or social activities.

The School Game

I see my life as a human game experience I’ve got, while being a divine being in my human body. This allows me to see life as exciting, challenging and not frustrating or depressing. There is no real good or evil, but there is an experience I’ve got as the divine being.

Now translate this model of reality onto school. I am a human playing the school game. I know it’s only a game and failing won’t kill me, but rather give me experience to learn from. There will be plenty of fun out there waiting for me, good marks and bad marks, but all in all it will be experiences which lead me as a human being, playing the pupil, to grow and expand. You can compare graduation with a death experience. At the end we will all die (or commit suicide and leave school earlier) and thats why it only counts how you lived your life (what marks you’ve got), how much fun you’ve had. At the end there will be a Numerus Clausus, your mark, summed from all of your life experiences (summed from all of your exams and marks). All that counts is that you had fun!

Converting Old Beliefs

There are several beliefs about school I hold for too long. I want to convert them into positive beliefs which support me in playing the school game. Here are some of them listed and converted:

old beliefs:

1. School steals my free time
2. I got no money for going to school
3. I could achieve a lot of things without my a-levels
4. I need to invest f*king lots of hours of my life
5. I need to struggle and push myself even after school

now converted:

1. I have 24hours of free time, which I use for things that deliver fun and pleasure like playing the school game
2. I can play the game for free, but I would even pay for playing it like I need to pay for a ride on a roller coaster.
3. I can play even more games in the “human game” with my A-levels
4. I invest hours of my life and gain fun.
5. I am playing for fun even the whole day to get more skilled.

That are some examples of mine. I bet there will be several more new phrases after the first week.

I’ve created several other tools for defeating spontaneous depression or creating and boosting my motivation. For example if I feel overwhelmed by school one day, facing my upcoming exams or A-levels, I will face that day exclusively. It will be a game for itself. Focus on every step until you reached the top (of the day).
In other cases I will need special motivation. I may perceive the day as a special level where I need to “win that exam”. I may see that class as some sort of boss I need to beat. I may try to trick the teacher and make him believe I am fully motivated that day even if I want to run, but the tricking could be my quest.

Go With The Flow

Again I need to remember to go with the flow. I don’t want to start paddling upstream but to focus on the positive aspects of school, focus on feeling good all the time and go with the flow of the school day. I don’t need to control anything there, its everything already done for me to become a great student. The teachers are there, the books are there, the other people are there. Everything is waiting for me to start playing.

Geschrieben am Mittwoch, 03. Februar 2010 und abgelegt unter Life Purpose. Verfolgen Sie die Diskussion zu diesem Beitrag per RSS 2.0 Feed. Sie können diesen Beitrag kommentieren oder einen Trackback von Ihrer eigenen Webseite setzen.